by daithí

The other day, I ventured into James Crews‘ recently published book of poetry, Turning Toward Grief. At first, it reminded me of Linda Pastan’s book, The Five Stages of Grief, (New York: Norton, 1978) but not in the way one might think.

Linda Pastan in 1978 compiled a book of poetry based upon Elizabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Crews’ insights in his new book had provided another level of insight. James wrote on p. 156 of his book:

So much of our lives might once have seemed predictable with a set of formulas or instructions for how to proceed. But this is not the way of grief…

As so often happens with knowledge, we end up taking in the information, and then codifying it. Grief took a different turn with James Crews’ poetry, like David Kessler’s sixth stage of grief meaning. It was added to the other five by David Kessler, who was no stranger to the Kübler-Ross’ work. He had co-authored two books with Kübler-Ross before publishing Finding Meaning in 2019. In both the poet’s book and the psychiatrists, meaning is an active ingredient in grief. It is active, fluid, and can affix itself on objects, like old t-shirts, green shoots, smells, or even mother wrens. Most importantly, grief is not put away on the shelf and forgotten.

When I say that both Crews and Kessler share a common ken, I mean the range of perception, understanding, or knowledge surrounding how to approach grief. What is critical to both is that those of us who experience loss must go beyond acceptance of the death of friend or family member. We must rummage through what at first seems to be the ruins; only to find value in both remembering and in fueling our daily wonder in a world equally precious. Where joy and sorrow share a common ground.

For anyone grappling with loss as a poet, I would strongly encourage you to purchase James Crews recent book, Turning Toward Grief (Broadleaf Books, Minneapolis).